_Garasu no ori_: Confuse

(I' truly apologize to those who will read this, I'm sorry for this personal post that will irritate you eyes, heart and mind, I suggest not to read it if you don't feel pleased)

*Read at your own risk*

This Morning

The voices in my mind came and started to arguing with each other

that time my heart crying

and I keep cursing myself

This guilt feeling

I can't remember everything what are they talking about

The only word that I said to them is

"What if I give up and remain alone in the cage?,

beside, I've already set my mind that I'm ready to be rejected no matter how hurt will it be"

Yuzu : Hana, He loves you, He knows what best for you, you've said that before that He will get jealous if you keep remembering that person, He know your sorrow will come back if you try to reach peoples heart more than Him. All this time He's the only One listen to your tears.

Airisa : Well you love that person right? just give that person a chance, beside you've already choose that person to be your future person. And it's not a sin dear.

Arisa : Who's supposed to decide? Hana?

Yuzu : Hana, you're just choosing but in the end He decide how your will life be.

Airisa : Saaa... You just need attention from that person right

Yuzu : But that person still not your person yet, Airisa stop making Hana more confuse, you just want to drag her back to you right!?

Airisa : I just wanted her to be happy, I don't like Hana been a cry baby all the time, beside her emotion affected you too right?

Yuzu : I rather see her cry just for this temporary place than seeing her suffer forever in the end!

Airisa : Don't you try to act like you're good person here.

Hana : I just want to understand that person, is it wrong?

Airisa : Dear dear *hug*

Yuzu : But Hana, you deserve to be with a better person.

Hana : I don't know about that, but I always believe that person can be a better person for me.

Yuzu : I mean to guide you to Him, I didn't mean that person is bad.

Hana : I'm not a good person either, I believe that person can change... that person... I've been treasure it... but...aaaaah.... I can't think now... because I've already treasured that person in my heart...

Airisa : See... who's making Hana more confuse *smirk*

Yuzu : You! *pissed*...

Arisa : Airisa, I know your happiness is from sorrow and manipulating others feeling... It won't last long.

At last all this arguing just left me with so many question